Reflecting Upon Tables Full of Gratitude

A dining table is filled with beautiful pink place settings

As I write this, it’s the weekend after Thanksgiving and I am reflecting upon all of the thoughtfulness, generosity and organization that went into the gatherings we were blessed by. We traveled to my home state of Texas to celebrate with my family of origin. We haven’t been home for Thanksgiving in years, and it was very special. It was bittersweet that we missed sitting at the table with our chosen family of friends in Kentucky, but thanks to their big hearts and a group text, we got to celebrate with them in an incredibly beautiful way. And for the first time ever, thanks to sister #1 and her lovely daughters-in-law, we enjoyed an additional gathering with some of our oldest friends.  So many people in these groups went out of their way to be helpers, to show up, to contribute, to cherish one another.

“The Keefe Kids” Gather

I come from an immediate family of 12, and now there are 61 of us. 53 of us gathered Thursday. We missed the physical presence of our parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews who now live in Heaven, Spain, Australia, San Antonio and San Diego. But we brought so much of what they taught us and what we love about them with us. As you might imagine, with such a large family, we had to learn how to organize ourselves, our homes, and our priorities so that, despite our diversity of ages, locations and ideologies we can gather in a way that honors our family’s legacy of love and service. 

We all value our family, education, and civic responsibility, but our careers, communities and lived experiences vary significantly. And I imagine our algorithms vary even more widely. So much so that I was concerned that our gathering would be superficial at best and contentious at worst. Fortunately, I was wrong. Thanks to our love for one another, the presence of precious babes, honored elders, a beautiful setting in nature and the foundation of this decades long celebration, we were fully occupied in joy and tradition.

My favorite brother (IYKYK) and my amazing sister-in-law (she’s my favorite Texas sister-in-law, but my Kentucky one is pretty awesome as well!) organized their calendars, their home and the menu to host 53 of us with thoughtfulness and efficiency. Because we were traveling from out of state, they would not let us bring a thing. All we had to do was show up, while the rest of the family pitched in with appetizers, side dishes and desserts. The amount of time and organizing that went into confirming the guest list, seating, tableware, beverages and outdoor fun was truly exceptional. Our amazing hosts ensured a balanced menu, options for a wide range of dietary needs, an efficient buffet flow and plenty of time and space to socialize.

And, they worked organizing MAGIC right under our noses. Immediately after the blessing (of the family, the meal and the love we are all called to be and to share; great job sister #1!), two additional dining tables & their accompanying chairs were brought in, decorated, and set. From water glasses to place cards it took mere moments to ensure all of us had a seat at a table. 

Such a thoughtful plan allowed generations to be seated together, cousins to connect, and siblings who now live far from one another to reunite more easily. We all had a seat at a table in a deeply meaningful way. We range in age from 6 months to 82 years. Our newest great nephew reminding us of the unconditional love that is so fresh from heaven and our great nephews’ and great niece’s abuela & abuelo reminding us of the grace and peace that comes with age. It was a gathering I will always reflect upon with great gratitude.

Lifelong Friends

An additional gathering this year was to celebrate the first anniversary of our daughter and son-in-law. This welcome to the family party was the day after Thanksgiving and planned so that family members who were unable to travel to Kentucky for the wedding last November could celebrate the couple. My eldest sister hosted and it was the first time many family members saw her new home. It is a beautiful space just a few doors down from her youngest son and his family. Seeing her so happily settled and cared for just a couple of years after her husband’s passing warmed our hearts.

And seeing her daughter-in-law’s organizing MAGIC creating a celebration for my daughter & son-in-law was very special. Her thoughtfulness reflected the happy couple’s aesthetic and the family’s need for simplicity and lots of raw food options the day after Thanksgiving! A natural organizer herself, it was wonderful to hear she’ll be retiring from her teaching career soon and launching full time organizing services in the Austin / Leander, TX area soon! (If you need a fun, no nonsense home organizer in the Tarrant / Williamson county areas, reach out; I would love to connect you to her!)

This day after gathering may become a new tradition for the years we travel to Texas, because it also allowed us to see some of our oldest and dearest friends. When I was 12 years old, I met a friend at Girl Scout camp that would become a lifelong friend. The following year, I met another friend at that same camp that would become my bonus sister. And the next year I met one of my very best high school friends. We have all remained close for decades. Spending time with them made my heart overflow. Finishing each other’s sentences, celebrating each other’s lives, realizing how much we have in common despite living in 4 different cities… it was a lesson in the timelessness of love and connection.

The gathering we missed, but reminded us of who we are all meant to be

While we celebrated that love and connection in Texas, our family of friends did the same on the banks of the Ohio River. At the Kentucky farm of a beloved friend, we traditionally create a day of love, laughter and a delightful variety of food. Although we were sad to miss it this year, something happened that made it perhaps the most meaningful year of all. 

Early Thursday morning, our host posted on the group text that her neighbor was in distress. He was lost in Louisville, over an hour from home and trying to find the hospital where his wife had been taken the night before. Our host had been on the phone with him for hours, trying to direct him. Stress, lack of tech and his own medical challenges were insurmountable obstacles and he needed in-person assistance. Too far away herself, she reached out to our village, seeing who could get to him. Our incredible goddaughter and her partner immediately stepped up and began searching for him. They found him and led him directly to his wife. I wept when I saw the photograph. These two beautiful young women stopped their holiday plans and did whatever it took to help someone they had never met. Because we are all neighbors. Because this is who we are meant to be.

Pinky Jackson is a Decluttering Specialist and Home Organizing Expert. If you need expert organizing help, don't hesitate to reach out. Pinky and her team would love to help you. Onsite Organizing services are available in the Louisville, KY area and Virtual Organizing services are offered for clients in other locations and for those who prefer to work online. Visit pinkyjackson.com to learn about our services and schedule a free assessment.

Photo: Kristin O Karlsen@kristinokarlsen